What Stage of Change Are You In?

Hola Fierce Feminina,

I have taken a lot of big actions and made some big decisions in the last few months. In the article, A New Season of Change, I described my journey and the catalyst of those changes over the past year. If you didn't get a chance to read it. Check it out to provide some additional context for this article.

Change doesn't typically happen overnight. However, there are those stories where a chain-smoking woman finds out she is pregnant and quits smoking the next day. But changing behavior or stopping an addiction takes time. Those unwanted behaviors may have been a survival mechanism for you, but now it's time to release them. Change requires a lot of mental and physical energy. That’s why you need support.

The signs of needing to make a change are subtle at first. You may begin to feel the internal restlessness of something not feeling right. Then like a fast-moving snowball accumulating snow you’re struck by an avalanche (a problem).

The problem is typically the catalyst for change. This is where the Cycle of Change model by Prochaska and DiClimente comes into play. The model was created to show how addictions and other behavior changes occur in a cycle.

What I love about the Cycle of Change model is that it gives you some grace for messing up or relapse. For example, when you are doing great on your diet but have one bad day and that box of Oreos starts calling your name and the next thing you know is that the whole package is empty. (In my case it would be a whole bag of tortilla chips and a jar of salsa). The next morning, your stomach hurts and you start the cycle again.

Change is not easy and changing your behavior can be difficult. Let’s have a look at the stages in the Cycle of Change and see where you are.

When looking at the Cycle of Change, I could point to different periods in 2022, and 2023, where I was going through the various stages. In the Pre-Contemplation Stage, there is no intention to change. You don’t realize there is a problem. In the summer of 2022, I thought everything was great. I had no idea there was anything wrong or that anything needed to change. I was coasting through life.

Then came my 40th birthday, the Contemplation Stage, I realized something was wrong in my life but wasn't quite sure what it was. Remember the story about me being alone on my birthday? I was in this stage for several months. It feels a little unsettling, you may even have an internal feeling of restlessness. It’s super uncomfortable.

In the Preparation Stage, I was preparing to take steps towards change. I oscillated between both this stage and the Contemplation Stage. Defining the problem was difficult for me. In my preparation stage, I hired a coach who began working with me on mindset. This helped to create clarity in my life. In this stage, you are developing language and insight into the problem or behavior that needs to change. Are you preparing for change or unsure what changes need to happen next?

Moving toward the Action Stage is when you start taking the necessary steps to make behavioral changes happen. My action stage began when I took my mini sabbatical. This made room for me to make other changes in my life. It gave me the space to change my diet, reflect on what I wanted, and who I wanted to be.

It took a lot of preparatory work to get to the Action Stage. There is an internal excitement feeling at this stage. If you are at this stage congratulations! I am proud of you and what you did to get here. I know it wasn’t easy.

Now for the Maintenance Stage. This is where you maintain the behavioral changes you have made. It is where I created the patterns and rituals in my life to maintain the progress I had made. I created the ritual of walking every morning. I developed a pattern of making sure I set up systems that set me up for success. What maintenance strategies are you using to create consistent change?

Then there is the ugly word Relapse. Yikes!! When it comes to behavioral change, we would like to believe that we will not go back to our old habits. But when we are stressed or don’t make sustainable habits a part of our life, our minds will default to what is easy. That is just how we are made. I know, it stinks.

In my behavioral change I realized that I was addicted to negative thoughts. I had to manage my mind to keep up with my behavioral change. So, if you find yourself eating those Oreos again, remember to skip right past the Pre-Contemplation Stage, the Contemplation Stage, and the Preparation Stage, and get right back to the Action Stage.

Understanding the Cycle of Change gave me a lot of comfort. We all tend to beat ourselves up because we think we should be doing the actions, before we are emotionally ready, and before we even know what actions to take.

Give yourself some grace, especially during this holiday season, and remember we are all at one stage or another of the Cycle of Change.

Learning to Be Checklist

🗸 Sometimes the signs of 🍂 change are subtle.

🗸 Behavioral Change can take time.

🗸 Be Patient with yourself. ❤️

🗸 If you fall off the wagon, get back on.

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