Self-Worth: What Are You Doing Daily That Sabotages It?

Hola Fierce Feminina,

Self-worth, what is it? The simplest explanation of self-worth is the value you place on yourself as a human being. The way it plays out in real life well that’s a little more complicated.

Imagine yourself dressed in a beautiful red ballgown getting ready to step into a room where you are being honored for an award. You picked this dress out and had it tailored to fit just you. Everything from your handbag to your shoes is perfectly matched.

You enter the room and there is another woman wearing the same dress. Your heart sank because you thought you would be the only one in that red ballgown. Not only is she wearing the dress. Her partner looks just as spectacular. To top it all off, she will be winning an award that very night too.

Now, what? How’s your internal value feeling right now?

I know I would be feeling a little deflated or maybe a lot. Sharon Martin, LCSW says Comparison is one of the “Five Ways We Compromise Our Self-Worth” (2018). Can you see how that experience would make you feel not as glamorous as you had hoped? We often compare ourselves and our work to others affecting our self-worth.

As I looked at the “Five Ways We Compromise Our Self-Worth,” I began to see how I was eroding my internal value and in turn my self-worth (2018). Some of these hit home more than others and if they do for you make a note of it. The first step to protecting your self-worth is acknowledgment.

Five Ways We Compromise Our Self-Worth by Sharon Martin, LCSW

Commentary by Marcie Rey

1. Perfectionism. We feel unworthy if we’re imperfect.

   Does anyone resonate with that one? When we feel like we have to be perfect or everything we do has to be perfect then your not leaving a whole lot of room for grace.

2. Overworking. We work to excess in order to feel valued and received tangible proof of our worthiness (praise, financial compensation, awards, degrees, ect).

   Don’t you see all the stuff that has to be done that only I can do? Wow, my ego is screaming right now. Relax.

3. Busyness. We overschedule and keep ourselves busy as a way to distract ourselves and feel needed.

   Look at me. I’m just so busy. I have all these things I have to do because I’m so needed. But what about you? Do you know who needs you right now? You!

4. Comparison. We look to others to measure our value. We compare ourselves to others and feel inferior.

   Oh my goodness look at everyone around me. Look at what they are doing. I guess I need to be doing that too. Women run your own race!

5. People-pleasing. We prioritize other people’s opinions above our own. We compromise our values and needs to please others and we feel “less than” when others are angry or disappointed with us.

   If I don’t do this thing for whoever. Then they won’t like me and I won’t be needed and they’ll find someone else. Maybe they will. That just releases you to do something else.

   (livewellwithsharonmartin.com)

Do you see how these five compromises sabotage your self-worth? There is no internal focus it is all external to the needs and desires of others without restraint. Do you see how they are all centered on doing instead of being?

Self-worth is how we value ourselves and how we show our value to others. There are two interactions really. The one with yourself and the one with other people. This can shift and change depending on where you are in the continuum of your personal growth and what position people play in your life.

Then there is personal power. Our self-worth is connected to our personal power. We flex 💪🏽 our personal power muscles when we have high levels of self-worth. The more we flex our personal power the bigger our self-worth. The more we compromise our personal power by not being true to ourselves we sabotage our self-worth.

Make sure to flex 💪🏽 your personal power and watch out for ways you are sabotaging your self-worth.

Learning to Be Checklist

🗸 If a woman is wearing the same dress as you take a selfie📷.

🗸 Leave some room for grace in your life.

🗸 Woman run your race!

🗸 Remember to Flex 💪🏽 your personal power.

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