A New Season of Change 🍂

Hola Fierce Feminina,

You’re standing in a forest surrounded by red, orange, and yellow leaves. Each tree holds an array of beautiful leaves shimmering in the sunlight. It’s magnificent to behold. It’s autumn. But as fall continues to come to an end. Those once beautiful leaves begin to turn brown and tumble towards the ground.

The leaves are telling us something. They are saying, “I’ve done my duty and I am now ready to let go.” Their showing us through their leaves that the season is changing.

Are you in a season of change and not able to let go?

I’ve spoken to many women who are going through a season of change whether it is some sort of personal loss like a divorce or layoff. Change is not easy. Yet, we are reminded that the only thing that is constant is change itself.

Just like the leaves that change color every fall, I too am embracing a season of change. And I am learning to let go, let go of fear, let go of anger, and let go of unmet expectations.

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of attending a conference for women leaders and women changemakers called Verve. At the event, I received a Spark Award and jokingly told my friends it was for the most improved.

I knew I would be accepting an award on the stage and would have the opportunity to say a few words. However, I was not prepared for the question Suzanne Castle would ask me. Suzanne asked, “So, where would you say you were (emotionally) last year at this time.”

I was taken aback as all the memories of my 40th year on earth came flooding in. I felt a pit in my stomach and began to tell the crowd about that day. You could say, I had a bit of a flashback of my 40th birthday. I spent that evening roaming the streets, literally walking to and fro alone crying, and not by choice.

I had never thought I would turn 40 years old to be completely honest. It was a huge personal milestone because my father had died of colon cancer at age 40. There was this weird catharsis that I had miraculously made it.

I had made it to the age of 40 and I was alone. The previous weekend my husband purchased every 20-something male's dream car. It sat in my driveway taunting me as a reminder that I was not worthy. Because I would have never purchased anything like that for myself.

Change was happening and my leaves were turning colors. I hate to call out my husband because he really is a great guy, but his leaves were turning colors too. That year he was on his third job, and we were in the car to his orientation in another city.

While in the car, he shared that he no longer wanted to be a lawyer, believe me, I’ve heard this song and dance before. He was telling me how he wanted to be a high school history teacher, mind you we were driving to meet his new colleagues. I was once again taken aback and felt completely unsettled by his statements.

I remember stewing in the car, I yelled out, “I feel like a dumb B* I’ve sacrificed everything for you and now you’re telling me that you don’t like what you’re doing again.”(We moved every three years because of his job changes for over 20 years.)

I continued to yell as tears fell down my face. I scried (scream-cried), “I PUT ALL MY EGGS IN YOUR BASKET.” My husband replied, “You put your eggs in the wrong basket.”

And he was right!

My leaves had begun to fall. I let go of the expectations I had placed on him, I let go of the expectations I had placed on myself, and I knew deep down to my core this would never happen again.

I would never depend on anyone else to carry my eggs in their basket. I looked out into the crowd as I retold that story with tears running down my face. That’s when I realized I had embraced my season of change and had taken back my personal power.

No one was going to hold me back anymore!

Are you embracing your season of change?

P.S. My husband Jake has been a huge support in my transition to being a Fierce Feminina. Recently, he told me that he was putting his eggs in my basket. 😂

Learning to Be Checklist

🗸 Seasons change and so do we.

🗸 When your 🍁 leaves fall, it’s okay.

🗸 Put your 🪺 eggs in your OWN basket.

🗸 Who’s holding you back from your dreams? Is it YOU?

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