Mindfulness: Disconnect to Reconnect

Hola Fierce Feminina,

Do you ever feel so overly connected to the outside world that you feel disconnected from yourself?

This past week I tried an experiment. It was called turn off your phone for a whole day, put it in a drawer, and see what happens. I know it sounds scary and at first it kinda was. From the moment I wake up in the morning to the time I go to bed, I have my phone. I hate to admit it, but I am one of those people who sleeps with my phone near my bed. My headphones are in as I listen to the soft sounds of waves as I drift into sleep.

However, more so lately, I have felt a little more fatigued and a little too entangled with the outside world. Like an Octopus has reached out and attached its tentacle to me. Like Everyone and Everything is trying to get my attention.

The reality is they are. From your apps reminding you when it's time for you to wake up or have a snack. To your kids asking for money to buy something for school. To another email telling you not to miss out on some new great thing while supplies last. It is all so bombarding.

All of these little tugs at you and me are tiny stressors that can contribute to chronic stress. Our brains were built to handle big stressors for a short amount of time. Like being chased by a lion on the Savannah.

In contrast, you just received  27 texts in the past 10 seconds on your family group chat. Do you feel the anxiety rising within you just thinking about it? That’s chronic stress. Each one of these tiny stressors compounds and builds into the never-ending uneasiness you may be feeling daily.

The managing of these tiny stressors is crucial to calming down our autonomic nervous system, which is the system that is responsible for the Fight, Flight, or Freeze Response. One of the ways to manage our tiny stressors and address their impact on Us is to utilize the skill of mindfulness.

Mindfulness has become a bit of a buzzword in the past few years, what does it mean? It is the ability to notice, be present, and be aware of your surroundings. My little self-induced mindfulness experiment of Cellphone-Free Saturday showed me a lot. More than I expected, actually.

As I mentioned, I sleep with my cell phone nearby and earbuds in. I had already told a few people that I was going dark and would not be reachable. However, before I turned my cell phone off Saturday morning, I sent two texts.

It wasn't out of an addictive tendency, I just felt like I needed to respond for whatever reason. I know, I know… I felt my husband's eyes looking at me saying, “Marcie put down the cell phone!”

So, here we go; What I learned on my CellPhone-Free Saturday.

First, I had to turn it off, then put it in a drawer, and walk away. Ok that task what done, now I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I knew I wanted to make breakfast but then realized I needed a receipt for gluten-free banana muffins. So, what did I do? Do I run to grab my phone? No, I didn’t dare run to the drawer where my easy answer laid, instead I looked for my old, faded Betty Crocker Cookbook, remember Her. 

Now what do I do with myself? Morning chores, yes those will give me something to do. Done, now what… then I remembered the numerous other things around the house to accomplish. After I was finished doing those things it normally would be time to check Facebook on my cell phone. But instead, I checked in with my family. I went to each room and took a look at what everyone was doing.

Then I went and hung out with my husband in his den. I read a book. A good book! I read the chapters out to my husband, and we talked about the interesting things I was learning. I was present and sharing my thoughts and ideas about the book.

Then it was time for dinner where I noticed while in the kitchen with my girls making dinner I was more present with them and to them. I felt like we laughed more, and I fully enjoyed each other’s company. I wasn't being distracted by a text or an email. I was fully invested with them there in that moment actively participating in mindfulness.

When it was time to go to bed, I reached for my book and read some more. Believe it or not, I did not reach for my cell phone in my drawer. I went to bed in silence with the sounds of nothing. I slept all the way through the night, and I felt well-rested.

The next morning, I didn't want to open the drawer or turn on my cell phone. But I was tempted. Those moments early on Sunday morning felt peaceful. I thought I could turn on my phone and listen to my Spotify no big deal, right?

Wrong! As soon as I turned it on, the dings and buzzes of all my missed texts, emails, and alerts came rushing in like a tidal wave. I was captured once again, and my stomach was in knots.

I had practiced mindfulness for one day and in a second those tiny stressors came whirling right back into my life. 

Why do we do this to Ourselves?

So next week, I will do this again but for two days. If you need me…. I am temporarily unavailable.

Do you need a CellPhone-Free Saturday, too? Try it

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