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- This Holiday Season May Be Tough If You're Greiving.
This Holiday Season May Be Tough If You're Greiving.
Here are some resources.
Marcie Rey Landreth
December 13, 2023
Be’Inspired
Hola Fierce Feminina,
As we purchase those last-minute gifts and begin thinking about the yummy foods we will be eating for the holidays. The feelings of excitement and joy fill our hearts to overflowing. However, those moments of happiness may not be felt by everyone this time of year.
Some may have had an unexpected loss or this may be the first year without their special loved one. Either way, the holiday season can be difficult to navigate if you are experiencing grief.
More recently, I had a friend pass away suddenly. It has placed a shadow over the holiday season for me. Likewise, I know her family is brokenhearted by the loss. Amid my grief, I began to think about the holidays and how to manage these overwhelming feelings.
For those of you who may not be familiar with the Five Stages of Grief, they are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. You can start at any point in the cycle and oscillate between emotions. Mostly I’ve had physical reactions of deep pain in my stomach and a feeling of numbness.
I couldn’t write this article today, but I know someone must be experiencing the same pain I am, and if that is you please know you are not alone. As I still try to process through my grief, I asked a social worker friend to write this for us.
Gabi Keele, LMSW is an amazingly talented young woman who works as a grief counselor in Dallas, Texas. Gabi is my Fierce Friend the kind of woman you can rely on to be a shoulder to cry on and to reorganize your space if you need it.
May God give you the strength to get through this holiday season even if it's with a tear in your eye. I am sending all the ❤️ love and hugs I can muster for you as we grieve together.
Grief During The Holiday Season by Gabi Keele, LMSW
As we approach the Holiday season, I am navigating a mix of emotions. There is joy and hope in this season as I see the beautiful lights that decorate our community, but business and rush have also burdened my heart as I finish buying the last-minute presents and plan to travel to see family. Amongst all of these emotions is the underlying pain and sorrow that grieves me during this season each year.
When my grandfather was alive, he had one rule for the holiday season: “Only perishables.” My husband and I would go find the most interesting snacks for Papaw. Looking back on those times, I often find myself grieving the most in stores like Aldi or Trader Joe’s during this time of the year. The special cookies, tins, and nut trays that line the shelves shine a light on the void left in my heart.
Most of us know that feeling. Whether you have experienced the loss of an impactful person in your life or the grief is more ambiguous such as moving, divorce, incarcerated loved ones, or even the loss of meaningful friendships. Whatever the circumstance, we can recognize and account for the moments or people we grieve in our lifetimes.
Grief doesn’t discriminate against any of us. There are moments where we might feel joy and hope, and soon after we might feel intense sadness or longing. All of these emotions are okay and this holiday season we need to grant ourselves the permission to feel and acknowledge any emotion we experience. What permission do you need this year?
We all need permission to:
Do things differently each year
Go at our own pace
Set boundaries with family and friends
Not care about the traditional hustle and bustle
Openly mourn
Feel supported by the community, friends, and family
Intentionally remember or distract ourselves
Create space for togetherness and time for rest
Lean on our support system because we are not a burden
Manage expectations of yourself and others
This holiday season may look differently for you and that’s okay. Give yourself the space to be and to grieve in the ways you see fit. If you are grieving this holiday season, check out these resources for support.
Remember you are not alone.
Gabi Keele
NACG- for family support and children's support groups
Journey of Hope- Free Downloadable Grief Workbook.
NACG Holiday Toolkit
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