Don’t Give Up and Don’t Choose Defeat

Hola Fierce Feminina,

Do you ever have moments when you think you’re going in one direction, but then, bam, something distracts you, and you find yourself going in a completely different direction? Well, today is one of those moments, I planned on writing about attachment and continuing our conversation on how to develop a more secure attachment with your romantic partner.

However, my mind got sidetracked, and I’m here sharing with you my biggest Ah Ha from a retreat I attended this past weekend. If you didn’t get a chance to read the article Are You Attached? Check it out. We’ll get back to attachment in a few weeks.

First, let me say that I spent an amazing weekend an hour outside Austin, Texas, glamping at Three Points Ranch while cultivating relationships, being vulnerable with them, and allowing others to pour into my empty cup.

You would think I would be writing about the trip, but this article isn’t about my experience per se. It’s about a person and the unlikely pairing of Frenchman, Cowboy, and Chef.

Chef Christophe Bonnegrace sauntered into the Three Points Ranch dining hall with a cowboy hat, a gun on his hip, and a voice that had a distinctly French melody to it. We weren’t sure who was behind the masterpiece of culinary delights we had just feasted on.

Chef Christophe felt bigger than life; his presence captivated the room as his accolades poured out of his sous chef, Jeff, a retired guitar-playing rock star. Chef Christophe won Best Chef in the World in 2018. He has been a chief for several Michelin-starred restaurants and a restaurateur with known celebrities.

I had never met a famous chief before and I was curious. I’m always interested in hearing people’s stories, their trials, and their biggest life lessons. I honestly couldn’t help myself, I needed to talk with him and ask questions from the man with a weathered face and white chief’s coat.

Chef Christophe shared with us his humble and early beginnings. He was the kind of kid who would steal from others, do bad things, smoke, and be jailed at 8 years old in France. So, how does a “bad kid,” his words, not mine, end up one of the top chefs in the world?

I had to know more about his family structure and his life experience. After dinner, where he had just provided us with the best-looking and best-tasting tapas I had ever had. I found myself alone with him in the main dining hall asking to hear his story.

So, over a glass of red wine Chief Christophe opened up about his relationship with his father. You see Christophe’s father was the sheriff of a small town in France. He was the one who had Christophe arrested as a kid and would often tell him he was bad and wouldn’t amount to anything.

It was obvious that Chief Christophe had always wanted his father’s approval but he had always fallen short of his father’s expectations. You don’t have to be a therapist to figure that one out. He seemed to have this internal drive to keep pushing, keep going, and keep outdoing himself.

Chef Christophe served in the military and used his dedication and discipline to enter the world of cooking. He spoke of his military experience fondly, although many of his stories were graphic depictions of his friends being blown up or dismembered in battle.

There was a moment when he placed his hands on my arms looked me straight in the eye, and said, “Battles are meant to be lost, but defeat is a choice.” That statement struck a chord in me. How did he know I needed to hear that?

His words rang in my head like a bell from a church tower. I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I wasn’t quite sure how to process it or what to even do with it. But I knew it was wisdom and I needed to hear it.

The thing is, I believe Chef Christophe lived by his statement. It seemed as if Chief Christophe had been in many physical and metaphorical battles, and he overcame them.

How do you become a world-class chef? How do you become a world-class human? By recognizing that “battles are meant to be lost.” And after the battle, we get back up, we put ourselves back together, or we dust ourselves off, and we get back in there, and we fight again.

Don’t give up and Don’t choose defeat.

Sometimes, losing a battle just means you learn from it, and you keep pressing forward.

Chef Christophe told me he never did get that approval or get to hear the words I love you from his father. After his father’s death a few years ago, Chef Christophe was surprised to hear that his father boasted about him to all of his friends and said he was very proud of his son in America.

Those words he so desperately desired were eventually heard.

Is there a fight or a battle you’re in right now that you need to walk away from?

Thank you all for your love and support in 2023! We created a 3 question survey to hear what inspires you. Please take a minute and complete our survey! 😘

Like what you see? Invite your friends.

Want some inspiration daily? Remember to check us out on your favorite social media platform. If this was forwarded to you click to subscribe. Join in the fun!